A new chapter starts…

A few months ago I went to visit my daughter’s new school and for the first time it really hit me – I am now a proper grown up. The next 6 years are going to be life changing.   This week  our little girl started  Primary school.  our little girl puts on her new uniform every morning and already seems like a mini adult.  It feels like only yesterday we met her for the first time and now she’s starting school!  Its bonkers.    She  loved her time at Nursery  but going by her recent devil like behaviour, I know she is so ready for big school..  The problem is – I am not sure I am!

I have suddenly had a wave of anxiety and panic because of the uncertainty that lies ahead.  Any parent, I am sure, will be feeling the same and asking the same questions. “Will my child fit in, will she be picked on, will she like her teacher and want to go to school every day?”  

But on top of this I start to break out in a slight sweat when I think about the school gate etiquette. The mums who are always there on time, the mums who always manage to do the drop off and pick up, the mums who get involved in the bake sales  (I actually watched Bad Moms the other week and it made me feel a whole lot better).  The packed lunches  (this scares me the most actually as I find it stressful thinking about their supper every night).  The mums who manage to find the time to sew an outfit together completely from scratch, have Easter hats made that look like something they could wear to Ascot for the Easter Parade, and don’t get me started on the half terms that seem to happen every week!  My brain feels fried already.     The paper work has already mounted up and we are only into week One.    It’s going to be a game changer and a real test of my organisational, and juggling skills.  Being a full time working mum means I am going to have to pull lots of favours and invest in a lot of Prosecco!

Then there’s the worry about how my daughter will react to school.  The settling in session went ok and she came out skipping when I collected her but then on the flip side there’s that heart wrenching fear that she may cry as soon as I have left and may well do for weeks!   Who knows?   What is reassuring is that my daughter is very excited about starting school.   She kept asking  how many days there are until “Big School”   When I ask her how she is feeling she says, “good mummy” but her behaviour shows otherwise.  

The tantrums have been creeping back in and sometimes clings onto me like a limpet and would happily sleep on the stairs!

It’s as if she can feel a big change coming and I know this because so can I.  I mean who else would feel this teary thinking about buying school uniform and her first lunch box.

Children are resilient though.    It’s up to us, the parents and teachers, to guide them and give them all the love and support they need to overcome the first day blues (and most important of all not to let them see us cry when we drop them off for their first day!)

The big wheel turns whether we like it or not, rolling us from one stage of life to another

Starting school is their first step into the public world.

It’s a huge leap of independence and in that first year of schooling my daughter will blossom. Before I know it, she will be walking into the classroom, unpacking her bags, putting her lunchbox where it needs to go and making friends like I did and hopefully re live my happy childhood

So, when my daughter chucks one of her tantrums I will try to understand more and be calmer, when she clings.  I will hug her harder and most of all enjoy this new chapter in life as who knows what’s going to happen next – it’s actually very exciting!  x


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