24 Feb Tantrums and tears of a ” threenager”
I often wonder if there is a kids handbook that parents don’t know about and secretly all the “threenagers” and four year olds make a pact with one another to make our lives a living nightmare! I mean who would throw them selves on the floor in a fit of rage because a piece of paper isn’t in the correct position on the table and when is it ever acceptable to shove a plate of food to the side because the baked beans aren’t separated properly from the toast, oh and the subject of toast if it’s cut up incorrectly as squares and not triangles then all hell breaks loose, and god forbid a banana is taken out of its skin!
I am telling you now if an adult behaved like this they would get a good slap! (And not on the wrist)
We seem to be experiencing some pretty epic meltdowns at the moment and depending on what mood I am in the evening can either end in peace and harmony or I will end up pressing my face into a pillow so I can scream and release some anger (followed by pouring a very large glass of wine)
“It’s relentless. It’s boring. It’s exhausting. It’s upsetting. It’s probably not going to change f0r years”
I feel like I am losing control and that our daughter has us wrapped around her little finger. Its time for this to STOP! I know we give in, it’s sometimes the easiest thing to do, but slowly this will become our weakness, and her strength, and no parent wants to be in that position. That was something my dear mum got right and when we misbehaved and she raised her voice… boy oh boy did we shut up and listen! I don’t know if this was because she played mum and dad so she had to be the one in control, or whether she had learnt some tricks from her mum but something worked.
I have two children. A daughter who is nearly 4 but thinks she’s 14 and a 15 month old son who is already fast becoming a cheeky chappy.
Working full time means I don’t get to spend that much time with them day to day and what should be a pleasant evening of cuddles and mummy time when I come back from work is often replaced with tears and tantrums and very recently ended up having an actual physical wrestle. The simplest things are the most challenging (Putting on Pyjamas for a start) and I often find myself getting so wound up and upset that it affects the way I deal with the situation and I hate myself for it. No one ever prepares you for his or her erratic behaviour and there is definitely no handbook for this so it really is a case of trial and error to find out what works (and what doesn’t)
So back to that wrestle, which was fucking awful!
Our daughter was clearly over tired, but so was I so not a good combination. I would like to put it down to just “ one of those evenings” as its not happened again recently and I hope it never does.
She would shout “NO” to absolutely everything I asked and the art of listening had gone completely out of the window.
“She was being an obnoxious cow – sorry, not sorry”
The constant whining and fake crying was getting under my skin and I could feel my blood boiling. Having a 15-month-old hanging off you and crying the second you walk out the room was not helping the situation either. I wanted to walk out the house and leave them to it (of course I would never do this) I would have done if the hubby was back from work.
It was getting late and I just wanted my daughter to get into her pyjamas. It was impossible. She would throw things to the floor, took all the pillows off the sofa, was shouting so much her face went red and made herself choke! I did everything from ignoring her, closing the living room door on her so the screams could be drowned out, imitating her, sitting her down and trying to reason with her, threatened to cancel her birthday party or throw her favourite toys in the bin. Nothing was working and my patience had run out so I picked her up went upstairs and using my force tried to undress her. I was shocked at how strong she was and if the neighbours were listening, and didn’t know me, they would have thought I was hurting her. The only thing hurting was my heart, as I hated seeing her screaming at me. It was like she was possessed and completely out of control. I held her down and then got kicked in the stomach and leg. Well that was it for me. I felt like a complete failure. I ran went back downstairs, poured a glass of wine sat in the living room and cried.
Hubby arrived home and managed to calm the situation and eventually she passed out from sheer exhaustion.
“My mum had always told me to never let your children go to bed on a row so I felt awful.
As she slept soundly I kissed her forehead and promised myself to never let that happen again.
I don’t remember being like this as a child, I am sure I was a little shit to be honest, but my mum has told me that if I didn’t get my own way I would hold by breath until I went blue. I think on one occasion I actually self inflicted a fainting incident! At first my attention seeking methods scared the bejesus out of my mum, but after a few of these episodes people soon wised up to it and simply ignored me.
I am the first to admit that there have been some epic fails (and there will be more) but I would like to think that I have learnt from my mistakes.